Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Smiling, but we're close to tears

6 months ago today.... I thought my life was over. That was the day we said goodbye to our son, Jack. I can still remember every single twinge of pain and sadness from that day. It was the worst day of my life.

Never before has my heart been broken in such a gut-wrenching way. It's a pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And it's certainly not something I should be expected to just "get over."

I've been doing so good lately. I miss Jack every day, but there are alot of happy things in my life. And then last night this song came on the radio... and without warning, I burst into tears.

This song has absolutely nothing to do with losing a baby. That's the funny thing about grief. It comes and goes, and you never know when it will strike. The lyric that got to me was "Trying to make it work, but man these times are hard." Welcome to my life. I'm fine, I'm good, I'm great, I'm fantastic and then BOOM. I remember that my baby was taken away from me, and I just lose it.

Luckily, my amazing husband was home to intercept me and like always, he was able to soothe the pain. Still, I have long ago accepted that sometimes..... I just need to cry. I miss my little boy.

No comments:

Post a Comment