Thursday, December 30, 2010

Auld Lang Syne

"Should auld acquaintence be forgot, and never brought to mind?"

Um, what's that now??? Does anyone know what the words to the famous song sung on New Year's Eve stand for? Well, I do. Now. Thanks to Wikipedia.

Auld Lang Syne is a poem written by Robert Burns. The song's Scots title may be translated into English literally as "old long since", or more idiomatically, "long long ago","days gone by" or "old times". Consequently "For auld lang syne", as it appears in the first line of the chorus, is loosely translated as "for (the sake of) old times".

So, for the sake of old times, let's recap the high points of the year that was 2010:

Running a half marathon. Jon getting a new job. Me getting a new car. Refinancing our house and saving $200/month (sweet!). Seeing 2 lines on 7 pregnancy tests. Being pregnant. Celebrating a year of marriage. Going to DC with my BFF and having a blast in our nation's capitol. Feeling my son's sweet little baby kicks for 4 weeks. Eating at Las Margaritas every week over the summer. Our weekend in Michigan. Name that Tune. Inside jokes. Splurging on sushi and coffee. New additions and new milestones for the people I love.

Dear 2010: You had the best of times. You had the worst of times. I am not someone who would ever wish my life away, but I am ready to bid you adieu. I am really looking forward to capturing all of the positives that will come our way in 2011.

Buckle up and get set. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The 12 Pains of Winter

For years, my dear friend JMP and I have had a slight obsession with the song "The 12 Pains of Christmas." It's hilarious and if you've never had the pleasure of hearing it, do so now.

As I mentioned a few posts back, I have always loved the Christmas season. But with the season comes the cold. Yes, for those of us who live in the northern part of the US, it starts getting REALLY cold around this time of year. As I was struggling to get out of bed this morning, I started thinking about all of the reasons that make me strongly dislike the winter.

12. Your alarm goes off in the morning and it's dark outside.
11. Gray, slushy snow that gets the bottoms of your pants dirty. Yuck.
10. When you open your car door, no matter how hard you've tried to brush off all the snow on your window, the snow drifts in and lands directly on your seat.
9. Car troubles! Your car is cover with salt, your windshield cracks (my Tuesday) and you need 4 new tires because you're sliding all over the place (my Wednesday)
8. All your motivation goes out the window. Go to the gym and suffer in the cold, or go home where it's warm??? No brainer.
7. Speaking of cars.... people forget how to drive when there is a millimeter of precipitation in the air. They either drive way too fast and scare the jeebies out of me, or so slow that they are actually a hazard to the people around them.
6. Dry skin. Chapped lips. Dry hands. Red nose.
5. Every task takes twice as long to complete. Going to the grocery store? We'll see you in 2 hours.
4. Everyone around you is grumpy. Sunshine makes people happier, and lack of sunshine = Grinch-y folks.
3. Your nice warm bed is oh-so-comforting in the morning,  but you know the second your piggies touch the cold floor, the chill sets in and it sets the tone for the day.
2. Your desire to get "fresh air" is trumped by the burning in your lungs from breathing in sub-zero temperatures.
1. There will be people around you (skiers, ice fishermen, etc.) who inevitably say "Oh, it's not that bad! It's not even that cold." That is crazy talk and you're a crazy person.

Needless to say, I don't love winter. But since this is a blog about happiness and finding the positives in life, here are the GOOD things about winter (I could only come up with 10):

10. You'll appreciate the renewing feeling of spring and 50 degree weather so much more.
9. When snow is pretty and fluffy and falling from the sky anytime before January 1, it seems kind of magical.
8. Chili, Tortilla Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup... enough said.
7. If you don't feel like going somewhere or doing something, you can use the "weather" as an excuse.
6. Big fluffy sweaters can hide the fact that your diet doesn't start until spring.
5. Chilaxing by a warm, cozy fire.
4 You completely justified in your need to grab that second cup of coffee/hot cocoa.
3. You can throw snowballs and feel like a kid again.
2. Cuddling under a warm blanket with the person of your choice :)
1. You can't have Christmastime without winter!

Stay warm everybody!!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Song Lyric of the Day

"You are the best thing, that's ever been mine."

So true buddy. So true. <3

Friday, December 3, 2010

Oh, Christmas Tree

Ever since we lost Jack, I have been telling Jon that I did NOT want to put a Christmas tree this year. I love Christmas, and I love everything about the Christmas season, but this year feels.... different. It's just not the Christmas I expected it to be. We were "supposed" to be one month away from delivering our beautiful son, and I just couldn't see how Christmas could possibly feel like a time to celebrate this year. So even though I love having a Christmas tree and the way it makes our house smell, I just didn't think I could bring myself to celebrate knowing that our little one wouldn't be there to celebrate with us.

So imagine my shock and awe when I walked into our door last night and saw this beautiful sight:

I was so confused at first. Then I looked over at Jon sitting on the couch, and he had a look of terror on his face. The first thing he said was "You're not mad, are you?"

He told me that although I said it didn't really "feel" like having a Christmas this year, he knew how much it meant to me, and he didn't want me to miss out on something that has always made me so happy.

As if I don't say it enough, let me just reiterate that this man, my husband, is without a doubt the most wonderful human being I have met. He went through all that trouble just to make me happy. Instead of feeling sad, that tree brings me so much happiness. It's not just a tree that makes our house smell good, it's a symbol of love.

The best part about the tree? A few weeks ago, the new bride and I were in Target, and we found the most perfect Christmas ornament. A baby boy angel with blue eyes. I knew it was perfect, because I know Jack would have had those beautiful blue eyes just like his daddy. Even though we weren't getting a tree, I love having things that are in memory of or remind me of Jack, so I bought it. Of course, Jon had it placed front and center on the tree, and it brought tears to my eyes immediately.

Did you know that trees symbolize life and new beginnings?? I'm wondering if our tree can be both the celebration of our life together and the life of our beautiful son, but also the beginning of a new journey in our lives. Happy Holidays everyone!

The songs in my head

If there were a disease that made you prone to having songs constantly stuck in your head, I would be the poster child. For the purposes of this blog post, let's call it "Stuckularitis."

I have been debilitated by Stuckularitis since I was a little girl. Gosh darn it, if I hear a song one time it will be in my head ALL day (all week even, depending on the song's lack of quality). That's right... there is an inverse correlation between how good a song is and how long it stays in my head. And I always seem to remember to lyrics to the worst songs, and often forget the lyrics to some of my favorite songs. It's bizarro.

Going along with Stuckularitis, I also have a very serious condition called "Musical Association Disorder." I posted a few weeks ago on Facebook how I found an old CD from college. Seconds after popping it in, I was taken back to April 2006. The most profound characteristic of M.A.D. is when there are songs, CDs, musicals, etc. that will forever represent a time stamp on your life. Since I listened to the aforementioned CD over and over again leading up to and following Spring Break 2006, I will always associate the songs on that CD with what was happening in my life at the time.

M.A.D. also has the ability to bring out certain emotions in a split second. For instance, just hearing the first few bars of "Look After You" by The Fray immediately fills me with love. That is "Our Song." We heard it when we went to our first concert together; it was playing when I walked into my surprise birthday/engagement party; and it was also the song that we danced to at our wedding. I'm sure our close friends also associate Look After You with me and Jon.... see, M.A.D. is contagious!!!

About a month ago, I heard a song called "September" by Daughtry on the radio. I think Daughtry ranks right up there with Nickleback as one of my least favorite bands. Anyway, I told my BFF J-Mo that the stupid bald lead singer obviously wrote the lyrics of that song to torture me. The lyrics talk about having a wonderful summer, and once it's over and only the memories remain,  in the end it was all worth it. So of course as I'm listening to the lyrics I started crying hysterically. All I could think about was the amazing summer we had with our baby boy. I longed for the joy and anticipation and naivete of our wonderful summer.

When I got home that night, Jon was there to intercept me and my tears. I told him about how sad the song was, and he gave me a huge hug and said "Sweetheart, Jack would have HATED Daughtry." (I love that man, he says one line and I instantly feel better).

I have heard this song several times since then, and each time the tears would start within seconds. I will most likely always associate that song with the tremendous sadness I felt in the month of September 2010, when I lost my baby Jack. But last night, for the first time, I heard it and did not cry. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'm sure my little guy is up in Heaven wishing and hoping that his mommy will stop listening to such lame music.

So I've decided that I need a new musical time stamp. I need a new series of songs for this point in my life. I have been through all 5 stages of grief (and then some). Now I want songs that will give me hope for the future, or will simply remind me of this time period and how I was able to rebound from the worst experience of my life and was still able to feel happy.

And if you see me around, and I'm quietly mumbling the lyrics to a cheesy song, please save me and give me a new one, because I will undoubtedly need your help to cure my Stuckularitis.