99 things

Is anyone else having the busiest May in history??!?!!

I feel like this month is already flying by, and there's just a little too much going on. What happened to the days of having lots of free time?? Oh, that's right. They are off in a land where I still have a 25 inch waist and no responsibilities.

Anywhoo, I saw this 99 things post on Megan's blog and thought I'd give it a go since I have some new "friends" who've recently joined me. Including a new friend from New Zealand! :-)

This little survey thing is neato because it brings back lots of memories, and points out a few things that I'll need to add to my bucket list (the ones that aren't in bold). Annnnnd here we go!!

1. Started your own blog
~ Nope. This is not a blog. You are currently reading an excerpt from a literary journal on the current state of the economy of Turkey. You are also getting verrrry sleeeeepy.

2. Slept under the stars



~ Bahamas, Spring Break 2006 - my first kiss with my now husband :)

3. Played in a band
~ Does Rock Band on XBox count? Because I play a wicked guitar

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower
~ I don't know if this counts, but in Colorado I counted 20 shooting stars in one evening - gorgeous. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars??

6. Given more than you can afford to charity
~ Yes, but at the time it was only $50, but for a broke college student that was way more than I could afford

7. Been to Disneyland
~ I've been to Disneyland Paris, that counts right??

 8. Climbed a mountain
~ In West Virginia and Colorado - booyah!

9. Held a praying mantis
~ I'm good on this one

10. Sang a solo

Everyday in the shower. And once for a tryout in choir in 6th grade. Spoiler alert... I didn't get it because I can't sing. Huh.

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris
~ Back in 2003 with my brother Adam - we had a blast practicing our high school French skills. I was better than he was. Truth.

13. Watched a lightening storm
~ Lots of times from our front porch

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child
~ I had an egg baby in 8th grade health class. I dropped it.

16. Had food poisoning
~ Yes, and it sucks @$.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
~ Been there, have no interest in going to the top because I hate crowds.

18. Grown your own vegetables
~ Sort of. We want to start a vegetable garden, but we might have to stick with just herbs this year since we're a little late in the game!

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
~ On said trip with bro back in 2003. What was she smirking about I wonder?? The actual painting is much smaller in person than I though it would be.

20. Slept on an overnight train
~ Again, on the trip with my brother, we took a train from Nice, France to Rome. It was pretty cool in an Agatha Christie, European kind of way.

21. Had a pillow fight
~ Yes, and I always lose. I'm not aggressive enough.

22. Hitch hiked
~ No, because I live in America and I don't want to be axe-murdered.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon
~ I've run 3 half marathons, so basically that means I've run a marathon and a half.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse
~ Of the heart.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
~ In the Bahamas from aforementioned spring break trip. Now that I think back on it, I'm glad we weren't picked up for being drifters. But it was one of the greatest experiences of my life :)

31. Hit a home run
~ Yeah right

32. Been on a cruise
~ Not a real one, but we did a 6 hour cruise to and from the Bahamas. I would LOVE to do a European and an Alaskan cruise.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
~ Yep. They are neat.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
~ My maiden name is English, and I've been to England. So that counts.

35. Seen an Amish community
~ They make some delicious cheese!

36. Taught yourself a new language
~ I do want to try Rosetta Stone some day - I've heard it's legit

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
~ Again, yeah right.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing
~ In West Virginia

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
~ Not yet - Florence is on my bucket list fo sho!

41. Sung karaoke
~ Way more often than I should

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt



43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
~ Some rich dude bought us a bottle of wine at Hyde Park on Jon's birthday though!

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
~ In the Bahamas and in Florida.... ooh la la!

46. Been transported in an ambulance
~ When I sprained my ankle in my very first (and last) game of intramural soccer

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
~ Yep. It is incredible.

 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
~ Been to the Eiffel tower, not to the top because again, I hate crowds. Here is the proof:



51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
~ In Key Largo. And I threw up everything I had in my system. I have no interest in experiencing that again.

52. Kissed in the rain
~ The hubs and I have had some romantic moments ;-)

53. Played in the mud
~ Mud pit. Summer camp. 1992.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater
~ It's been awhile, but I can't wait to take Emerson.

 55. Been in a movie
~ My brother is an independent filmmaker, and I played the bit part of bitchy ex-girlfriend of the main character in one of his short films.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business
~ I would love to open my own froyo shop!

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason
~ I love looking at flowers, but I truly believe they are a colossal waste of money. They die in a week!

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
~ A few times, and I always turn yellow. I truly hate doing it, I won't lie.

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check
~ But I've over-drafted multiple times!

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
~ My favorite toys as a child were books, because I am a huge nerd. R.L. Stine anyone??



70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
~ He looks so honest from way down there.

71. Eaten Caviar
~ No, I can put away a boatload of sushi though!

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades
~ And I received 67 mosquito bites on one leg as a reward. That is not a typo.

75. Been fired from a job
~ This is my worst professional fear; failing an exam comes in close second. Again, big nerd!

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London



~ Yes. This isn't it, obviously, but this guy let me take a picture with him.

77. Broken a bone
~ Nope - I drink lots of milk!

78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
~ And I have zero interest in riding on one of those two-wheeled death machines again!

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican
~ It is massive and beautiful!

82. Bought a brand new car

I had a brand new car right after high school, which I proceeded to annihilate with my terrible driving habits.

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper
~ In our college newspaper from when I was homecoming queen. It still comes up if you Google my maiden name. And so does my unfortunate blonde highlight job.

85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve

86. Visited the White House
~ My friend Jess and I had tickets to tour the inside, but they were for 7am, so ummmmmm.... we didn't make it. But we saw the outside???

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox
~ They were not fun, as I recall.

89. Saved someone’s life
~ This weekend, while pulling weeds, I saw a pregnant spider. Instead of killing it, I picked it up and put it in the yard. So I not only saved her, but all of her spider babies. You're welcome, ma'am.

90. Sat on a jury
~ And you can read all about my experience here

91. Met someone famous
~ The closest I've come is that the weather lady from our local CBS affiliate goes to my OB's office and we were pregnant at the same time.

92. Joined a book club
~ And it's the best one ever! But I haven't been in several months because I, well, had a baby and all.

93. Got a tattoo




~ It looks like this and is on my hip. I want to get one for Jack too but haven't found the right one yet.

94. Had a baby
~ Emerson Elizabeth is my whole world! Jack Benjamin is the most perfect angel in heaven.

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit
~ I get letters for class action suits all the time. Apparently I buy products from shady companies.

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee
~ On my hand on the way to Disney World when I was 8 - my hand was so swollen that I couldn't hold onto the bars on all the rides and I was terrified!

Phew!!! I am exhausted!

Day 4 of Jury Duty

Here's why it's no longer enjoyable:

1) They are showing the movie "Wild Hogs" in the room that I can't leave. It's torture. Worst movie ever. 5 minutes in and I already find it racist and offensive. I also find the people around me laughing at it offensive for laughing at such a stupid movie.

2) I have only been through one round of jury selection but never got called. So 24 hours of waiting and no case to speak of

3) I am tired of carrying 4 bags across downtown Columbus because I need my purse, my laptop bag, my pump, my cooler, plus my mug, my water bottle, and my sanity.

4) I put too much half and half in my coffee and it takes disgusting and cold. Sad face :(

5) I am listening to the Hunger Games on CD in my car, and I just need to know SO BADLY if Katniss makes it. And poor little Rue... she's a goner isn't she?

6) Though the shower stall has been replaced with a storage room, I feel like a dirty stranger every time I ask for the key so I can go pump in the dark room with all the files.


I'm gonna go peruse the internet for something funny for tomorrow's It's Funny Friday. Also so I don't lose it.

Live Blogging from Jury Duty

Below is the lowdown on my first experience with jury duty yesterday. As you can see, I haven't been called yet. But it's 9:19am on day 2, I have coffee, and they're showing Avatar. So in fairness, life could be worse right now. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:00am: Arrive at the courthouse. Get flagged at security because I four bags with me. What?? I have to be prepared, this could be a long week.

8:05: Fill out jury questionnaire. Shockingly, there is no question that asks “Do you watch TV shows like CSI or Snapped and think everyone is guilty?”

8:10: Turn in questionnaire. Sit down and whip out my laptop. Panic because my battery is almost dead, and I see no outlet. Oh Em Gee, what will I do without my computer all day?? Give the stare down to the older gentleman at the table next to me, as the outlet underneath his feet glows like a halo.

8:15: Realize there is a power outlet next to every seat. Score!

8:16: Realize I don’t have the wireless access code. Dammit. Go out to reception and find a piece of paper and bring the code back to my seat.

8:17: When I sit down, chick in front of me asks if I found the wireless password. I show her my piece of paper. She takes it out of my hand, says thanks, and places it on the seat next to her. Um, hello?!?! I haven’t memorized it in the 2.5 seconds it’s been in my hands. Crane my neck to see what the password is while successfully avoiding confrontation by asking for it back.

8:38: Go to courthouse café for a coffee. Decide to mix things up and get half decaf, half French vanilla cappuccino. Amazing decision.

8:50: Jury Commissioner tells us lots of things that make me proud to be an American. Also that “No courthouse in the country can run without you” which is why it is VERY difficult to get out of jury duty unless you’re dying, bleeding, or a full-time college student.

8:57: WTF is that noise behind me?? Some guy is sniffling in such rapid succession that it’s grating on my every nerve. Someone PLEASE get that man a tissue!

9:08: Commissioner is still talking about our civic duty. We get the point, really. She says no less than 12 times how we should be happy we’re out of work for the week. Do people really see this as a vacation from work? I guess I don’t get it.

9:12: Watch a video about jury duty being a privilege and our responsibility as US citizens. They show how people were judged in Medieval times. They would tie your arms and legs together, and if you were guilty, you floated. If you were innocent, you sank. Spoiler alert: the peasant in the video sank – hooray for innocence!

9:18: Realize that sniffling man is actually a poor old man with an oxygen tank. Proceed to feel like a jackass.

10:30: They let us go for a 10-minute break. I ask if there if a room where I can go pump. Lady in reception says yes absolutely, it’s a lovely room located inside the women’s restroom.

10:31: Go into the women’s restroom. Find no such lovely room, just a door that says “Shower” and “Staff Only.” Frown and go back to reception.

10:32: Reception lady tells me that room IS in fact the place that I pump. Ok, never pumped in a shower, but sure I’ll go with it.

10:33: Barge past the line of 25 female jurors in line for the restroom. They all look grumpy because they think I’m cutting in line.

10:34: Open the door to the “Staff Only” shower room. Phew. At least there’s a lock on the door. But no chair. Okkkkkkay. How am I going to do this, I think to myself. Proceed to plop down on the floor of the shower stall to plug in my pump. Well, nothing says sanitation like pumping breastmilk on the floor of a shower stall in one of the largest county courthouses in America. I probably have ebola now. Or athlete’s foot at the very least. Emerson, I hope you know how much I love you.

10:34: Realize I left my cooler with my pump parts in the jury commission room. Fvck! Go past the line of women once more.

10:35: Return to shower stall and laugh at myself.

10:45: Back to the jury room to wait to be summoned.

10:50: Still waiting.

10:59: Man, my stomach is growling already. Jealous of the lady to my right with the scrunchie and her delicious looking potato chips. (Good thing me, Holly, and Kristen are on a diet that started today… I swear I didn’t cheat girls! I only fantasized about the chips.)

11:10: Still waiting. Start biting my nails. Stop that!!!

11:11: Where is that music coming from?? Some brave soul thinks we all want to hear his tunes.

11:18: DUDE. Why is that guy talking SO LOUD??? I know every single detail of your personal life now, are you happy?? Jury duty is a very interesting social experiment.

11:28: He’s back on the phone! I am embarrassed for him.

11:37: The Internet is freezing up. NOT COOL, county courthouse. Not cool.

11:48: Still waiting. Man in the aisle over is snoring. Well played, sir.

11:49: They call more jurors, and I still haven’t gotten picked. Trying not to take it personally.

11:54: They call more people… still not me. Not special.

12:00pm: We’re dismissed for lunch. We get 90 minutes. 90 minutes!!! What other establishment in the country takes a 90 minute lunch break?? If my car weren’t parked in the garage two blocks down, I would totally take a nap in my car.

12:05: Walk down the street to look for lunch. Ohmyyyyyy. There’s a Chipotle. Give in to lack of willpower.

12:15: After waiting in this long line, my hunger has gotten the best of me. But I try to be good and order a Chicken Bowl with brown rice, fajita veggies, tomato salsa, cheese, hold the sour cream (oh but I wanted it soooo  badly)

12:20: Walk back to the courthouse. Call Jon on the way. He tells me our little monster was an angel this morning. Of course. She’s an angel every morning J

12:25: Arrive back at courthouse. Go into lobby area and proceed to CRUSH my Chipotle lunch. Not one morsel of rice was spared in my attack.

12:47: Go back to shower floor to pump again. Appreciate the irony in that I felt dirtier than ever being in this shower room.

1:02: Buy some wilted grapes and a 150 calorie Rice Krispie treat from the courthouse café.

1:10: Look up my burrito nutrition info on chipotlefan.com. 19 grams of fat and 450 calories. Meh. Could be worse I guess.

1:12: Log calories into MyFitnessPal.com. Try not to feel like the computer is judging me.

1:13: Log my -500 calories for breastfeeding into MFP. Bahahaha- take that!!!

1:14: Man these grapes are wilted. This is what I get for picking a healthy snack.

1:19: Actually, the ones toward the bottom aren't so bad.

1:21: Go to Pinterest. Wonder why I haven't thought of this earlier. I feel like I never get to pin anymore. Priorities.

1:25: Give in and trade the grapes for the RKT. Only eat half.

1:29: Eat the other half.

1:40: They call for more jurors.... oh my goodness. This room is almost completely empty and I STILL have not been called. WTF?!?! I just counted are there are only 12 of us left, of the 180 that started with me this morning.

1:41: Still offended.

3:45: Guess my civic duty isn't needed today.  Oh well. See ya again tomorrow!