Friday, July 27, 2012

I get it now

As a mommy-to-be, I constantly wondered what my parenting style would be. I read all the books, blogs, and boards; I talked to friends, co-workers, random moms on the street. By the time Em was born, I had a list of convictions I felt strongly about, as well as a list of things that I would "never" do as a mom.

You see, before you are a mom yourself, you would like to believe that you're never going to be one of those moms that cause others to roll their eyes and want to cauterize their ovaries so they don't become smug like you.

On my shortlist, I have:
  • I will never own a minivan
  • I will never put my child or someone's else child down for being less/more advanced than the other 
  • I will not worry and panic about things that my doctor says are absolutely normal 
  • I will never take my child for granted or joke that they are a burden on me. There are thousands, probably millions of women who would give anything to be in my shoes.
And so far, I have stuck with all of these convictions and upheld them. (I do wake up in a cold sweat thinking about how convenient a minivan would be - must banish those thoughts).

But there is one conviction I had before coming a mom that has been absolutely obliterated:

  • I will not be one of "those" moms who whips out pictures of her child without being prompted.
We've all been there... random people who you barely know will practically set up a projector and show you all 897 pictures from their family vacation. You smile and nod graciously, all the while wanting to stab your eyeballs out with a pencil and praying that they'll pick up on your boredom.

Before becoming a mom, I avoided those people at all costs. Why should I care about every little nuance of your child's life??? Well, the fact is... I shouldn't. Or at least, I don't need to. I found this behavior to be arrogant and annoying. Like really, why should I care that your kid is so great??? I loved all of my friends babies, and I was obsessed with my own nieces and nephews, but strangers?? Stay the hell away.

The point of all of this is to tell you:

I have become one of those moms.

If Emerson somehow comes up in conversation, I will take the opportunity to show you how adorable she is. I have (literally) 897 pictures of her on my phone. Want to see her sleeping?? Got it. Eating peas?? Got it. As a 1 month old?? Got it.

I'm not expecting anything in return. You don't need to tell me how cute she is. She's my daughter, and I will always love her and think she's more perfect than anyone else possibly could. I don't need validation that my baby is awesome - I know she is.

On the flip side, I will dote on anyone's pictures at any time now. They are proud parents, just like me, and even if I don't know you, I actually care. I am happy you're so happy, and that you have a beautiful family. Seeing how much these other moms love their kiddos honestly brings me so much happiness, because it reminds me there are other people in the world who understand how I feel about my sweet little girl.

I can't really explain what compels me to do this... pride, joy, unconditional love - a combination of all 3 no doubt. But I seriously cannot help myself. I went through hell to be able to bring this beautiful girl into the world, and dammit, if I want to shout it from the mountaintops, so be it. And I don't care if you don't care because I will show you anyway. I have endured childbirth - I deserve this.

So for those of you out there who are still in the eye-rolling, why-is-that-mom-so-smug stage, heed this warning... it will happen to you. And that's okay. Some people will be annoyed by you, others will ignore or avoid you, and others who "get it" will sit patiently as you show off your pride and joy, because they love you and are happy for you.

And on that note, here ya go:


  1. I could look at pictures of that little squishy nugget all day long :)

  2. She really is about the cutest little girl I've ever laid eyes on. You should be proud!

  3. She is so adorable! I'm not a Mom (yet) but I can totally see myself doing that. I love seeing other peoples' babies though! Not when I'm in a rush but usually :)

  4. This is so funny because I got my haircut last night and I sure did whip out a picture of Kyla for my stylist. I mentioned her red hair and it's just not the same to "talk" about it :)

    And also, I have to admit, I said I would never get a minivan and guess what I drive now and absolutely love? Yep, a van! And it's amazing :)

    Emerson's smile is so precious. She is adorable!

  5. Love that you can admit it. Isn't that why iPhones were created? For us to show baby pictures? That picture shows a great smile! So cute.

  6. I have become that person as well. I have framed pics of Em on my desk and she's my computer wallpaper. I don't even have a wedding pic up yet! But I can't help it that I know everyone's day would be better if they knew her too!