Thursday, September 22, 2011

One year ago today

Dear Jack,

I just cannot believe it's been a year since we said goodbye.

I remember every single moment of our last day together. I truly believed that I would never be "okay" again. I could not see a future without you in it. I did not think I could survive with such a broken heart. I had never wanted anything more than to be your mommy. The pain was so intense, and I just could not see how I could ever be "me" again, because I was a happy person before and how could I ever be happy again without you here?

This has been the fastest year of my life. So much has happened in the last 365 days, but in many ways, I feel like we lost you just yesterday. I think because the memory of you is still so vivid. I will never forget the 21 weeks we had with you, and I will treasure the memories we made as a family, though there are not as many of them as I would have hoped.

It's hard for me to be too sad today, when your baby sister is kicking up a storm in my belly, making me smile with every move she makes. Since I know you played a part in sending her here, I wanted to say thank you... Thank you for allowing us to care for another baby as much as we care for you.

To my angel baby boy - thank you for making me a better person and a better mommy. We miss you buddy.




  1. Thinking of you JBF! Take care of your mommy and sister!! xoxoxo Aunt Jess

  2. You always know how to say things so well. As I shed some tears reading this I know the exact feeling. You are an amazing Mommy... Hugs friend from Faith and I. xxoo Love Kimberly

  3. Much love to you and JBF! That was such a sweet note to him. I teared up :)