Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I've heard this song by Michael Buble almost once per day over the last two weeks. It came out a long time ago, but I don't think it's a coincidence that it's been playing non-stop on my radio and on Pandora.......

After all, it was our song for Jack. And we're approaching the one-year mark since we lost him.When it comes to my son, I don't believe in coincidences... I believe in signs.

When we were pregnant last year, we thought the lyrics of this song were so fitting. Words like:

"I promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get... I just haven't met you yet."

I'll never forget the first time I heard this song after we lost him. We were in Staples, buying ink cartridges. The familiar song starts... and I sobbed. And sobbed. In the middle of store. Jon hugged me and didn't let go until the tears dried up. It was like a dagger to the heart.

Even after we found out about baby girl, I would purposely skip over this song if it came on the radio, because it was still too painful to listen to. But now, I don't know... it's becoming somewhat happy again.

I still feel sad when I think about Jack, but I just know that he had a hand in sending his little sister here to be with us. And when I listen to the words now, they take on a whole new meaning:

"I might have to wait, I'll never give up. 
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life"

We haven't met this little girl yet, but because of the joy she brings in our lives, and because of the memory of her brother, I couldn't imagine loving anyone more. Jack made us better parents in the short time he was with us. I am so ready to meet her, but I can wait a little longer until she's ready. I'm just happy that she's here.

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