Monday, April 29, 2013

A letter to my youngest

Dear tiny sweetheart in my belly,

As I prepare for my last week of work, I am in awe of time. The way that time seems to fly during the most important moments in your life. Because honestly, I could swear it was yesterday that I took a pregnancy test on a whim and then BAM! I realized I would no longer have a child, but children.

You, my dear, are destined to be the most patient, laid back baby imaginable for how cool you've been with what's happening on the outside. From your big sister crawling directly on my belly, to my admitted lack of "rest" over the last 38 weeks, to the obscene amount of ice cream I've eaten over the last month. You've been awesome. Always with perfect reports from the doctor. Always giving me a little nudge here or there when I need them, but then taking nice long rests at night so mommy can sleep.

I'll admit that I feel all kinds of guilt that moms feel when pregnant with a toddler in tow. Dubbed "second baby syndrome," you are so busy with your active little one at home that you can't embrace pregnancy the way that you did the first time (or the second time in my case). But as I've promised you many, many times, once you're here little one... no one will love you more than your mom and dad.

Some people worry that you won't bond with your second the way you did with your first, but that's actually the least of my worries (and I have alot of them). I just know that nothing compares to the love you feel for your child, and since I know how that feels with your sister and your angel brother, I know that the way I will feel about you will be no different.

No, I mostly worry about dedicating the perfect amount of time to both of my girls. I don't want either of you to ever feel left out or less important than your sibling. I don't want either of you to think I have a "favorite" child - this would kill me. I want you to know that you are both automatically my favorites, because asking me to choose between you two is like asking me to choose whether I'd like to breathe or like for my heart to beat - both are completely essential and you can't have one without the other. (Well, I suppose you can artificially, but let's just work with this metaphor, shall we?)

My point is... your birth order makes no difference to me. You are special. You are loved. You are wanted. You are important, and I could not be more grateful to have you. I get goosebumps and my eyes well up with tears thinking about the moment when I'll first get to see your face, hold you in my arms, and study your features until I have them memorized. I can already picture rocking you to sleep (in our new house!) and smelling that sweet new baby smell and realizing that even though life isn't perfect, we have everything we need because we have you and we have love.

Can't wait to meet you little one!!!

Love,

Mom

5 comments:

  1. I'd love a Small gap between two but like most parents I'm struggling to think I'd love them the same...you do of course but I just get nervous. Lovely post.
    WTPP - The little lady with a baby!

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  2. Such a nice letter. Enjoy your last few days as a Mom with one child.

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  3. Sooo sweet! Print it and put it in the baby book:)

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