The horror!!!!

As part of our bedtime routine, I read Emerson 1-2 books every night before bed. She has really started to like them, particularly if she's not overtired by the time we start reading. My parents read to me all the time when I was little, and I attribute my vast knowledge and intelligence to my interest in books and reading in general ;-)

(Ok sidenote, speaking of intelligence, I re-read my blog post from yesterday and holy hell, there were alot of spelling/grammar errors! Go check it out before I fix them all as I hang my head in embarrassment. I can't have my daughter thinking that bad grammar is okay!)

Anywhoo, last night she cooed over and over whilst I read her "Do Princesses Really Kiss Frogs?", a compelling tale of a little girl who goes on a hike with her father and her dog. Truly a Pulitzer prize contender.

Ok, so then we get to book two, which is a book of nursery rhymes. Great, I think to myself. I always loved nursery rhymes. How fun to get to go back in time and read/sing them with my little girl!

The first one is the classic, Rock a Bye Baby:

Rock-a-Bye Baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
the cradle will fall
And down will come baby
cradle and all

WAIT....

HOLD UP! Are you trying to tell me that some mother not only left her baby ALONE in a tall tree on a windy day, only to let said baby plummet to the ground in their flimsy cradle?!?!? WTF kind of parenting is that?!!!?? What a horrifying nursery rhyme! Yikes. Never humming that song again, good grief. I'm not sure why I never thought about it until now.

Then we get to the next page, Georgie Porgie. Oooh, I remember this one! 

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie went away

Um, WHAT??? Some pervy little kid forces himself on poor unsuspecting little girls??? And then when the brave little boys come out to confront him and protect the innocent girls from his unwanted advances, the little scamp runs away like a coward???

This is just unacceptable. I feel like my childhood innocence has died a little. No more nursery rhymes for Emerson until Mother Goose can clean up her act.

Don't even get me started on Humpty Dumpty...