When is it socially acceptable...

To eat lunch?? My stomach is growling, but it's only 10:38am. I ate breakfast, but apparently my body doesn't care. Homegirl must be craving more sustenance than 32oz of water, an English muffin with peanut butter, and a glass of skim milk. Growth spurt maybe?

I didn't pack a lunch today, so I'm going to have to venture out for some quality quick food (I refuse to call it fast food because I don't patronize any of the big fast food chains like McDs, BK, or Wendy's). It has to be within walking distance because, at this lovely university at which I am now working, if you move your car, you lose your spot for LIFE! (Well, just for the day, but it might as well be for life.)

A quick Google search of nearby restaurants gives me the following options:

Subway. BW3s. Jimmy John's. Donato's. Noodles & Company. Domino's. Panda Express. Annnnd a doughnut shop.

What's a hungry momma to do?!!>?!!?#@$?! I don't want a pizza. Or a sandwich. Or a doughnut.

(This post is dedicated to Jess, Kristen, and Stephanie, who told me last night that reading my blog keeps them entertained at work. So happy to provide this service for you gals!)

It's Ok Thursday

Link Up!

It's ok...

...that I haven't read the book for book club tonight (or last month's book for that matter). I like hanging out with cool gals even though I can never get the books from the library on time.

...that I've only worked out 1.5 times this week. I am not going to gain 50 lbs in 5 days, no matter how much cereal I eat.

...that I now have to use the powder room up to 10 times a day now (TEN!!!) That just means I'm staying hydrated AND baby girl is getting bigger! Good job, bladder.

...that I made Jon put my socks on for me the other day because it was just so much easier :)

...that I've spent way too much free time looking up Halloween costumes for the baby, which she won't be able to wear until next year.

...that I bought two pairs of the same shoe on Sunday, just in different colors. They are cute and comfortable and I feel great about my decision!

... that I've polished off an entire box of Blueberry Morning this week. But in my defense a) It's the most delicious cereal there is and b) The box is very tiny and c) You can only find this amazing cereal at Target, so I consider it a specialty item that should be consumed promptly.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Happy Thursday!

Dream Laughing

For the past few nights, Jon says I've been laughing in my sleep. It's loud enough to wake him up, but apparently not loud enough for me to realize I'm doing it. So random!

What am I laughing at, I wonder?

Possible explanations I've come up with:

• Even in my sleep I still find myself hilarious
• I remembered a joke that I heard from earlier in the day, and my subconscious is the only part of me that "got it"
• The baby is kicking me and I am finding it adorable, once again because even my subconscious thinks the baby is adorable
• I've been having funny dreams that I don't remember

Either way, I guess it can't be a bad thing.

And just for laughs, check this You Tube fave out:

Reasons to Smile

When I went back to work after losing Jack, I knew it would be tough. So for about a month, I decided to remind myself of all the reasons why I was still blessed. I started a personal "Reasons to Smile" initiative, and it really did help.

These days, it's hard for me to do anything but smile, but I thought it would be good for me to show just how far we've come over the last year. So here we are, Audra's Reasons to Smile, September 2011:

This guy

My goodness, I love this man. I don't know how else to explain it, but we really are just a perfect match. He always does and says the right thing; he makes me laugh till I cry; he never makes me cry in the "bad way"; he respects me; he thanks me; he takes care of me.... and to top it all off, the way he interacts with our daughter is the most heartwarming feeling I could ever experience. I have never seen someone so excited to be a father, and I'm so happy that he is the father of my children. I must have done something right in my life, snagging this handsome fella. I hope some day our baby girl realizes how lucky she is to have him as a father. I have no doubt she will.

My new job

Though I was sad to leave all of my friends and coworkers, I am 3 weeks in and still loving my new job. The shorter commute, flexible schedule, and salary increase were certainly nice, but more than anything I am loving the potential that this new position has. I get to make it my own, and build a program from the ground up. It's an amazing opportunity, and I know I am extremely fortunate that they hired me, baby bump and all.

Baby showers!

My amazing family members have planned two baby showers for me in the month of October, the first being this weekend. I am one of those people who does not like to receive gifts. It's not like I am not grateful; I just feel really, really bad when someone does something for me, when they could have saved their money for themselves. Despite what you may experience from time to time, there really are some selfless and giving people in this world, and I feel like I'm related or friends with the best of them.

That said, we've received some gifts already, and I have never been more excited. Just picturing our little girl wearing one of these sweet outfits, or playing with a toy, or reading a book.... eeek!!! I just want her to be here right now! (But don't get any ideas kiddo, you stay put until you're good and ready!!)

Elective ultrasound

Next weekend, we decided to splurge and schedule an elective 4D ultrasound. We wanted an ultrasound experience in which I wasn't completely and utterly terrified for the first few minutes in case they found something wrong with the baby. Now that we know she is a perfectly healthy little sweetheart, I think it'll be so nice to get a sneak peek of her beautiful face. Check out these sweet baby pictures to get an idea (note: these images are not my child; rather, they are random adorable internet babies)

Pretty cool, huh?? I've said it before, and I'll say it again.... technology is a.m.a.z.i.n.g! Can't wait to see you little lady!

Fall-ing in love with the season

Scarves. Crunchy leaves. Football. Chili. Fall-scented candles. Pumpkin spiced lattes (decaf of course). The best part of living in Ohio is the fall. Our neighborhood has lots and lots of trees, and I just love this time of year. Jon may not love raking up all of the leaves, but I love the color and the chill in the air that fall brings. Fall also immediately precedes winter. And baby girl is due 3 days after the start of winter. (See how I bring everything back to my child? OMG, I'm one of those parents already).

So SMILE today. There's always a reason.

{via}

One year ago today

Dear Jack,

I just cannot believe it's been a year since we said goodbye.

I remember every single moment of our last day together. I truly believed that I would never be "okay" again. I could not see a future without you in it. I did not think I could survive with such a broken heart. I had never wanted anything more than to be your mommy. The pain was so intense, and I just could not see how I could ever be "me" again, because I was a happy person before and how could I ever be happy again without you here?

This has been the fastest year of my life. So much has happened in the last 365 days, but in many ways, I feel like we lost you just yesterday. I think because the memory of you is still so vivid. I will never forget the 21 weeks we had with you, and I will treasure the memories we made as a family, though there are not as many of them as I would have hoped.

It's hard for me to be too sad today, when your baby sister is kicking up a storm in my belly, making me smile with every move she makes. Since I know you played a part in sending her here, I wanted to say thank you... Thank you for allowing us to care for another baby as much as we care for you.

To my angel baby boy - thank you for making me a better person and a better mommy. We miss you buddy.

Love,

Me

Slowly learning how to be a parent

Not in the practical sense, but today, baby girl got the hiccups for the first time when I could *really* feel them. My whole belly was shaking. Such a cool experience!

And now I'm sitting here at my desk with the cheesiest smile on my face, thinking about how much pride I feel that my daughter knows how to hiccup already. I love literally every single thing she does, and I know it's only going to get more ridiculous when she's born. And now I get it. I get why parents have "brag books" and talk about their children whenever the opportunity arises. Even if no one else cares, I care, and that's all that matters.

Parental pride.... it's a beautiful thing.

100 days...

Breaking news: Our daughter is due 100 days from today!!!

I feel like doing this:

but I can't. So I'll just do one of these at my desk:

Pregnancy Advice of the Day

From me to you:

Don't....start a new job when you're 6 months pregnant. You will be over-tired, over-stimulated, and over-emotional. A little like this:

Luckily, I am really enjoying my new job, and it's an amazing opportunity. I just feel like the days are going by way too quickly now. Less time in the day means less time blogging. But in case you were wondering, you're not missing much - my life has been very boring.

The best part of my days are definitely still how active this little girl is in my belly. Psssh, I shouldn't call her "little" anymore... her tiny kicks and jabs have been replaced with full-blown human baby movement. This is why the show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" is so mind boggling to me. Even if I wanted to ignore the movement, I couldn't. She's always there, letting me know she's still doing okay and wanting my attention. You can see my whole belly move and shake, and last night Jon even commented that it looked like she was trying to escape! Haha. So even though my days are a little more hectic lately, I am still loving every second of being pregnant with my sweet daughter. Even if I feel like a zombie sometimes.

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I've heard this song by Michael Buble almost once per day over the last two weeks. It came out a long time ago, but I don't think it's a coincidence that it's been playing non-stop on my radio and on Pandora.......

After all, it was our song for Jack. And we're approaching the one-year mark since we lost him.When it comes to my son, I don't believe in coincidences... I believe in signs.

When we were pregnant last year, we thought the lyrics of this song were so fitting. Words like:

"I promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get... I just haven't met you yet."

I'll never forget the first time I heard this song after we lost him. We were in Staples, buying ink cartridges. The familiar song starts... and I sobbed. And sobbed. In the middle of store. Jon hugged me and didn't let go until the tears dried up. It was like a dagger to the heart.

Even after we found out about baby girl, I would purposely skip over this song if it came on the radio, because it was still too painful to listen to. But now, I don't know... it's becoming somewhat happy again.

I still feel sad when I think about Jack, but I just know that he had a hand in sending his little sister here to be with us. And when I listen to the words now, they take on a whole new meaning:

"I might have to wait, I'll never give up. 
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life"

We haven't met this little girl yet, but because of the joy she brings in our lives, and because of the memory of her brother, I couldn't imagine loving anyone more. Jack made us better parents in the short time he was with us. I am so ready to meet her, but I can wait a little longer until she's ready. I'm just happy that she's here.

One year from today...

This lovely couple will be getting hitched in Nashville, Tennessee! I told you about their sweet engagement a few month back, and now plans are getting underway. A date has been set, a location has been chosen, and now we just have to wait a measly 365 days, and it'll be here!

To commemorate their -1 anniversary, Kenny and Rodney sent me this beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday at work:

You can't really read the card (stupid flash) but the note attached says "Will you be my bridesmaid?? XOXO - Ken"

Awwwwww. Cutest surprise ever!! That was so sweet of them, and of course I said yes! With two sisters getting married next year, we've got a fun fun fun summer in store.

What's even crazier to think about??? At Lindsay's wedding, we'll have a 5-month old. By Kenny's, she'll be almost 9 months. WHOA!! We might have a crawling baby in Nashville. I can't believe it. Good thing Aunt Kenny bought baby girl some teeny tiny cowgirl boots for the occasion ;-) She'll be ready to go!

Oh, and totallly un-related... but now I remember why they say pregnant women shouldn't wear horizontal stripes. Holy cannoli -that is one sizable bump! I swear it gets bigger every day. But as long as she's healthy and growing, my belly can be the size of Florida. Well, maybe Rhode Island. I feel like that's fair.

Amber, this is for you :)