Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Hardest Job You Will Ever Have

What if I told you that there was a job out there that:

~ despite advanced degrees you will never know enough about
~ you will live in constant fear that you're doing it "wrong"
~ every day would present some type of challenge that you probably feel you can't handle

Any takers? 

Yeah, who would want THAT type of job right?

Yet millions of us do it every year. 

That job? It's called being a mom.

And without a doubt, it is the hardest job I have ever or will ever have.

We're going through a tough time right now. We recently had to switch daycare providers, and though our current situation is perfect (close to home, affordable, wonderful people), Emerson is having a really hard time with it. She's been with the same sitter her whole life, but she was unable to watch both our girls so we had to find someone else. But Emerson doesn't get that. All she knows is that mommy and daddy leave her with a relative stranger, and every single day for the last 2.5 weeks, she cries big tears when we drop her off. It's HEARTBREAKING. I'm worried she'll have abandonment issues. I'm worried she'll never adjust to this new place. I'm worried she'll start to become withdrawn.

And then Anna got the stomach flu. My tiny baby was vomiting for 24 hours straight, and was just SO SAD. If she was awake, she was crying or whimpering. She doesn't understand why she feels so bad, and I miss seeing her smiling face. I couldn't put her down for almost an entire day, and I knew she just felt so terrible. How frustrating it must be to feel that crappy and not be able to express it.

It's hard just to get through the workday with this much worry weighing so heavily on my heart. I know in the long run, they'll both be fine and probably fine soon too. But that doesn't make it any easier, and makes me realize that it will never get easier. I will always find something to worry about. I have never worried about anything as much as I worry about my girls. 

I hate that I can't always take away their fear or their pain. And I hate being away from them. And I hate how hard this "mom" job can be sometimes, because I just want their lives to be perfect and I hate knowing that they're not. I am still shocked I didn't have to fill out an application, or get a background check, or take a stress test.

But, I firmly believe the reason I am a mom 3 times over is because someone knew I could handle it.
Because I also can't imagine loving any job ever in the world more than this one. 

Still, any reassuring "Your girls will be fine" comments would be helpful :-)

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  1. You are the best mama ever and those girls are lucky to have you! It's so hard when things change (who likes change!?) and when they aren't feeling well. Sometimes it's harder on the parents. But, you are doing such a good job and you have made a beautiful home for those two little lovely ladies :)

  2. I am 100% sure being a mom is the hardest job ever, that's exactly why I'm 100% sure I wouldn't be able to handle it! You handle it with grace my dear! You girls will be fabulous!

  3. I find it nearly impossible NOT to worry, so I feel you on that one. Em will adjust- this is the first of many life lessons that will make her stronger. She's a trooper and this will help her learn how to make friends with new people for school when she starts and work when that comes to her. You're being an awesome mom by encouraging her to stick with it and being there for her at the end of the day. It's reinforcing your strong presence and her understanding that she can count on you to be her support system- she'll learn you're not ever LEAVING her, even though you can't physically be with her each minute.

    And poor little Anna! I feel badly that she's sick, especially when she's so little! Hopefully this is something that strengthens her immune system. Getting her body used to illness now isn't terrible because her little body will know how to fight off germs sooner than other kids.

    They are both ah-mah-zing girls, who will forget all about these weeks soon. You and Jon are awesome parents and I KNOW you're doing everything you can to give the girls everything. It's a bad time, but this, too, shall pass- right??


  4. Oh that must be so hard right now. :( Poor babies. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have both of them upset and not feeling good. I hope Anna gets better soon and Emerson adjusts to the new daycare. You are doing all that you can, hang in there, your girls will hopefully be just fine soon enough.

  5. Change is tough on anyone at any age. Em will be better as she adjusts and poor Anna!! You are doing GREAT and those two girls are so SO lucky xoo

  6. Being a mommy is rough. Boomer is going through her own adjustment period with a new school...and I have to keep reminding myself that she will settle into the new routine and everything will be fine. We will be ok my dear, just keep your chin up!

  7. It is hard!! I hope Anna feels better soon and Emerson will adjust to her knew daycare.