Can I spend 15 seconds of my life talking about Miley Cyrus?

I remember back in "my day" when Britney Spears was scandalous.

Girlfriend pushed the envelope and had parents everywhere up in arms. 

This performance at the 2000 VMA's was so memorable because, at the time, this is what scandal looked like.

So let me think, I was... um, 16 at the time? And I don't remember thinking "Man, I really want to buy a diamond-studded bra/pantsuit combo and shake provocatively on the street corner."

But it did make me want to do more crunches.

You gotta give pre-crazy Britney credit. She'll never be praised for her impeccable singing voice, but the girl could dance. If you've ever taken a Zumba class, you know talking while doing this much movement is nearly impossible, let alone singing about getting lost in the game, oh baby baybay.

I know I'm way too old for MTV now, but I tuned in to the VMAs to watch the N*Sync reunion (2 minutes of glory right there). And I feel like my eyeballs got violated after watching this:

 Seriously.... what the actual fluck is wrong with Miley Cyrus? 

Her performance scared the ever-loving sh** out of me. I know I'm no spring chicken, but you cannot tell me that sticking your tongue out and grinding on a married man is in ANY WAY attractive. She looked like pure gutter trash that has floated through a sewer and ended up in the bottom of your toilet.

As the mother of two daughters, I am horrified. I know that she is old enough to make her own decisions, but what happened along the way that made her stop and think "Yeah, THIS is a good career decision." I know I can't protect my girls forever, but I would like to think that even though I know they'll make some bad decisions, that they'll never go so astray as to cheapen themselves like this trainwreck.

Ok... that's all I have to say about that.