Four-Fifths Update and the many ways in which I'm a bad mother

Do you ever have one of those moments where you're like "Holy crap, I've been so preoccupied with life that I have forgotten this major thing that's coming up???"

For me, that "thing" is the realization that, at almost 32 weeks, I am 4/5ths of the way through my pregnancy. Meaning, I'm about to have another baby in 8 weeks. 

Trying to let that sink in. 

Because all of my thoughts/feelings/anxieties have been consumed by this whole house selling/buying process, and all of my remaining time and attention goes to Emerson, I honestly feel like a bad mom. 

I am solemnly swearing, though, that once this baby girl gets here, she will get 100% of me. 100% is a relative term when you have two kids under the age of 2, but somehow I am going to defy the laws of math and give 100% of my attention to both girls. And Jon. 

I feel like I've barely talked about my pregnancy so far, so I thought I'd provide a quick update on how things are going:

Weight gain: Yeah.... About that. It's more than a little. However, I weigh 20 lbs less right now than I did when I was 32 weeks pregnant with Emerson, so that counts for something right? The silver lining is that I have lost all the baby weight before, so I know I can do it again.

Baby's weight: She measured at 4lbs on Monday! No wonder she feels so big - she is!!!

Food cravings: Peanut butter and spaghetti. Though not together. But should they be???

Energy: After the blissful honeymoon period known as the second trimester, I am starting to get tired again. It's usually worst right after lunch and then around 5:00. I have a separate reserve of energy that is dedicated to Emerson and cleaning, and then whatever is left goes to the television. I've worked out once in the last two months. ONCE. This is the longest I've ever gone without working out since I was a teenager. It's awful. But it's life. I'm burning calories by pinning post-pregnancy workouts and healthy recipes on Pinterest.

Favorite thing about being pregnant: Definitely feeling her move. She is getting so strong! Also, at my  ultrasound on Monday, even though obviously it's hard to tell for sure, I swear she looked just like Emerson! Perfect little round head and face, button nose, and legs that measured 2 weeks ahead (just like her sister). She was smacking her lips and grabbing her toes and I just wanted her to be here right now (but keep cooking sweetheart, mommy will wait until you're good and ready).

Looking forward to: Not having to pee every time I stand up. And sleeping in our king bed again (though this is a house problem, not a pregnancy problem) but I feel like I slept better when pregnant with E because I had more space for my whale-like form.

And honestly, as crazy as this sounds, I'm looking forward to giving birth again. I know right?!? There is just nothing in this world that compares to the moment when you see your beautiful baby for the first time. It makes the whole 9 month journey, from beginning to end, seem like the greatest miracle in the world.

Names: I will honestly tell you that not only do we NOT have a name for this baby, we don't even have any contenders. We can't agree on any one name, so it's most likely going to be an 11th hour decision. Or whoever caves first. 

Things left to buy: Everyone tells you "Oh, you're having another girl, so you don't need anything!" Whoever started this rumor is a LIAR. Yes, we are good to go on most clothing, but we would have been fine regardless because for the first 3 months they only wear PJs anyway. But there are still PLENTY of other things that come along with having 2 under 2 that no one told me about. I have most things picked out, I just have to take the plunge and whip out the old Amazon credit card. I am wary of making a ton of purchases right now though since a) we're (hopefully) going to be signing a mortgage contract here shortly and b) I don't want to buy a bunch of stuff and then have to move all that stuff, I'd rather just have it delivered to our new house.

Here's my list of leftover items. I'll attach links to each of these items, in case one of you 39 random readers from Germany want to send us a care package.

• Second crib: Emerson is way too little for a big girl bed, so she will stay in her crib. We bought this one in white, and it's still in the box disassembled because we have no idea where we'll be living come May 12th. No pressure.
• Crib mattress. The poor thing doesn't even have a mattress yet. I'm a terrible mother.
• Crib bedding. Haven't finalize color scheme yet, but I'm leaning toward white or gray.
• Second camera for our monitor so we can pan between rooms
• Another Pack N Play, since Emerson still uses her at daycare
• Furniture. A dresser and changing table at minimum.
• Glider. I was just going to use Emerson's, but we sit in it every night to read her stories, so I can't take that away. Then I really would be a terrible mother.
• Double stroller. When I get up the nerve to take them both out in public at the same time. 
• Car Seat. Emerson is in a convertible car seat now, so sister can just use hers. Sweet! We'll need a second convertible seat when she's a year old, but we have plenty of time for that.
• White noise machine. Em still sleeps with hers, and white noise is one of the most essential baby items, ever. If you like sleep that is.

So that's pregnancy in a nutshell. I can't believe it's so soon - 58 days and she'll be here! And hopefully she doesn't preemptively hate me for any of the aforementioned ways in which I fail as a parent.