"Happy"

Funny how a blue sky can change your entire outlook, eh?

This was my view on my way into my building today. I am READY for spring. So ready.

I want to say thank you for all of the emails and messages from the other day. I really appreciate your kind thoughts. Just like the blue sky, things are MUCH better than they were a week ago. My family is doing much better, I'm doing much better, and both my girls are just awesome :)

Oh, and we even picked a name for baby sister!!! That's a huge relief. Emerson can already say little sissy's name, and she says it with a New York accent. I don't know how that happened, but it's so adorable I could burst. 

And speaking of, well, speaking, I just had to share one happy story:

Ever since we sleep trained Emerson, gosh, almost a year ago, we began instituting a bedtime routine. Give or take a few things occasionally, she does the same thing every single night. Upstairs at 6:30, bath, pjs, book(s) and snuggles, dim the lights, sing our song, turn on white noise, lay her down with her baby friend, and she's out in 5 minutes. It's a beautiful routine.

The "song" that I have sung to her every single night for almost a year is "You Are My Sunshine."

For the last few weeks, she has been walking around the house saying the word "Happy!" Not surprising, because she is becoming extremely verbal. You tell her a word a few times and she holds onto it. But we never specifically taught her the word happy.

This weekend, I'm cuddling with her as I start singing our song before night-night. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me - "

And she sits straight up and yells "HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My darling sweet girl finished the lyrics for me. Talk about melting into a pool of love. She knows that this is our song, and knows the word. And chooses this one word to sing for herself:

Happy.

With love like mine, how can I be anything but???

Updates and Perspective

Well gang, I've been a little MIA lately. 

I would like to say it's for good reason, but these reasons aren't good. But they're real. 

We had an emergency happen with Jon's family last weekend, and we are all trying to ban together and get through this as the strong, cohesive, supportive and loving family that we are. 

I find it funny how often I get bogged down with the little stuff in life that is SO insignificant. Here I was, worrying about my first-world problems. Oh, my beautiful home isn't selling as fast as I want it to, whoa is me. Oh, I'm 33 weeks pregnant with a healthy, perfect baby and I'm having trouble sleeping. Waaaa waaaa. I guess someone decided I needed a little perspective in my life.

And I got it. 

Sometimes we know why things don't work out right away. Sometimes we never know. But I can say without a doubt that the biggest source of stress in my life over the last 3 months seems SO trivial after this past week. I am SO grateful that our contract fell through, because I cannot imagine being forced to move out of our house this weekend. Right now, the only thing I'm craving is normalcy and stability, and moving out of our home that we love by this weekend would be insanity. There's just no way we could have made that work and still have been able to be there for our family. 

Sometimes I hate when the adage "Everything happens for a reason" is proven to be true. It's so cliche, which is why I hate it, but it's also shockingly accurate.

Whenever I start to feel like this is all getting to be too much at once, I take a look at my life and I am reminded, for the millionth time, how lucky I am. Family is so important, and I am so proud of the example we are setting for Emerson. We're there for each other, no matter what, and when one falters, we all falter, but we will always have people there to carry us the rest of the way.

Blog Lovin'

Yep, looks like Google has failed me for the first time ever.

Google Reader is going buh-bye, which gives me the sadz.

If you enjoy following along with me, you'll need to switch over to Bloglovin' by July 1st. I am posting this now, in March, because I'm a planner.

Four-Fifths Update and the many ways in which I'm a bad mother

Do you ever have one of those moments where you're like "Holy crap, I've been so preoccupied with life that I have forgotten this major thing that's coming up???"

For me, that "thing" is the realization that, at almost 32 weeks, I am 4/5ths of the way through my pregnancy. Meaning, I'm about to have another baby in 8 weeks. 

Trying to let that sink in. 

Because all of my thoughts/feelings/anxieties have been consumed by this whole house selling/buying process, and all of my remaining time and attention goes to Emerson, I honestly feel like a bad mom. 

I am solemnly swearing, though, that once this baby girl gets here, she will get 100% of me. 100% is a relative term when you have two kids under the age of 2, but somehow I am going to defy the laws of math and give 100% of my attention to both girls. And Jon. 

I feel like I've barely talked about my pregnancy so far, so I thought I'd provide a quick update on how things are going:

Weight gain: Yeah.... About that. It's more than a little. However, I weigh 20 lbs less right now than I did when I was 32 weeks pregnant with Emerson, so that counts for something right? The silver lining is that I have lost all the baby weight before, so I know I can do it again.

Baby's weight: She measured at 4lbs on Monday! No wonder she feels so big - she is!!!

Food cravings: Peanut butter and spaghetti. Though not together. But should they be???

Energy: After the blissful honeymoon period known as the second trimester, I am starting to get tired again. It's usually worst right after lunch and then around 5:00. I have a separate reserve of energy that is dedicated to Emerson and cleaning, and then whatever is left goes to the television. I've worked out once in the last two months. ONCE. This is the longest I've ever gone without working out since I was a teenager. It's awful. But it's life. I'm burning calories by pinning post-pregnancy workouts and healthy recipes on Pinterest.

Favorite thing about being pregnant: Definitely feeling her move. She is getting so strong! Also, at my  ultrasound on Monday, even though obviously it's hard to tell for sure, I swear she looked just like Emerson! Perfect little round head and face, button nose, and legs that measured 2 weeks ahead (just like her sister). She was smacking her lips and grabbing her toes and I just wanted her to be here right now (but keep cooking sweetheart, mommy will wait until you're good and ready).

Looking forward to: Not having to pee every time I stand up. And sleeping in our king bed again (though this is a house problem, not a pregnancy problem) but I feel like I slept better when pregnant with E because I had more space for my whale-like form.

And honestly, as crazy as this sounds, I'm looking forward to giving birth again. I know right?!? There is just nothing in this world that compares to the moment when you see your beautiful baby for the first time. It makes the whole 9 month journey, from beginning to end, seem like the greatest miracle in the world.

Names: I will honestly tell you that not only do we NOT have a name for this baby, we don't even have any contenders. We can't agree on any one name, so it's most likely going to be an 11th hour decision. Or whoever caves first. 

Things left to buy: Everyone tells you "Oh, you're having another girl, so you don't need anything!" Whoever started this rumor is a LIAR. Yes, we are good to go on most clothing, but we would have been fine regardless because for the first 3 months they only wear PJs anyway. But there are still PLENTY of other things that come along with having 2 under 2 that no one told me about. I have most things picked out, I just have to take the plunge and whip out the old Amazon credit card. I am wary of making a ton of purchases right now though since a) we're (hopefully) going to be signing a mortgage contract here shortly and b) I don't want to buy a bunch of stuff and then have to move all that stuff, I'd rather just have it delivered to our new house.

Here's my list of leftover items. I'll attach links to each of these items, in case one of you 39 random readers from Germany want to send us a care package.

• Second crib: Emerson is way too little for a big girl bed, so she will stay in her crib. We bought this one in white, and it's still in the box disassembled because we have no idea where we'll be living come May 12th. No pressure.
• Crib mattress. The poor thing doesn't even have a mattress yet. I'm a terrible mother.
• Crib bedding. Haven't finalize color scheme yet, but I'm leaning toward white or gray.
• Second camera for our monitor so we can pan between rooms
• Another Pack N Play, since Emerson still uses her at daycare
• Furniture. A dresser and changing table at minimum.
• Glider. I was just going to use Emerson's, but we sit in it every night to read her stories, so I can't take that away. Then I really would be a terrible mother.
• Double stroller. When I get up the nerve to take them both out in public at the same time. 
• Car Seat. Emerson is in a convertible car seat now, so sister can just use hers. Sweet! We'll need a second convertible seat when she's a year old, but we have plenty of time for that.
• White noise machine. Em still sleeps with hers, and white noise is one of the most essential baby items, ever. If you like sleep that is.

So that's pregnancy in a nutshell. I can't believe it's so soon - 58 days and she'll be here! And hopefully she doesn't preemptively hate me for any of the aforementioned ways in which I fail as a parent.

Syke!!!!!

Remember that one time I said we sold our house?!?!

Yeah. About that.

Our buyers fell through, so it looks like we're going back on the market.

I am not going to panic. In a way it's kind of a relief, because getting out by April 1st was going to be a logistical nightmare, and we haven't found our dream house yet. I guess now we know why. It's going to be fine. It will all work out.

And once my heart rate returns to a normal bpm, I might actually start to believe it.

Emerson 14 Month Update

Let's talk about something pleasant that doesn't involve house hunting. (In case you were wondering, we've been outbid on one house and were 24 hours late in putting in an offer on another house, so..... yeah. Things are progressing slowly.)

Let's talk about Emerson!!!!

Hurricane E in action

Weight: 19.5 lbs

Height: Probably the same as last month. You try getting a toddler to lie still for measurements.

Sleep: Still wonderful. Pretty consistent from 7pm to 7am. She wakes up sometimes around 10:00pm in a panic because she can't find her baby, so she'll roll around distraught until she finds her and it's back to sleep. Still falls asleep with her fingers in her mouth. I'll try not to be nervous about that just yet.

Vocabulary: She's now up to 50 words! Not that I count, or keep a running tally on my phone or anything. Favorite words that have been added this month include book, piggie, potty and turtle. 

Sentence of the month: "Up please!" She'll say up 3 times, and if you dare not to pick her up after that third request in a row, she will say up please until her needs are met. 

Runner-up: "Hi Baby!" when she sees her "baby" for the first time in awhile, aka an hour or more. She has more love for that darn thing (which we now own 4 of) than anything in the world. And I just saw that they no longer carry the correct version of her baby and I am breaking into a cold sweat. Running to check eBay.

Fashion sense: Awesome. Obviously.

Temperament: Easy. So easy. So happy. So fun. I am extremely grateful my stress level as of late has not been projected onto her. Though we get glimpses of her being a toddler (i.e. when she doesn't get her way) she'll fuss and protest momentarily, and then will rebound 10 seconds later. Just like her mom ;-)

This is also why I am convinced that this new baby will be the most high-maintenance (yet adorable) baby ever. No one gets lucky enough to have two easy kiddos. No one. 

Favorite Book:  Perfect Piggies! by Sandra Boynton. See new words added above.

Favorite Foods: Crackers. Good gracious that girl loves her crackers. And she doesn't discriminate. Ritz. Goldfish. Graham. Saltine. She loves them all. Still won't really eat meat, but eats a good variety of foods. She also has started loving peanut butter.

Her typical lunch

Favorite new hangout spot: COSI. Now that she can walk/run, girlfriend is just on the go! We took her to COSI a few weekends ago, and she had a blast! I love watching her interact with the world. Everything is exciting to a toddler. Everything.

Tolerance for cuddling: High. She loves it. Holding on to that for as long as I can.

Mom's Final Thoughts: Still think she's one of the greatest examples that I've done okay in life. Though I'm getting more and more tired, and huge, and running out of energy, I am trying to savor these last few weeks with her as my only "baby."

SOLD

Some of you may have already seen through Instagram, but I have something I would like to show you on this fine Monday morning:

That's right - we sold our house!!!! We are officially in contract. Life has a crazy way of working out. Though we've just introduced a whole brand new level of stress into our lives (we have to be out by April 1st - shit!) it's the good kind of stress. Meaning, we get to go find our "dream" house, or something close enough. In a perfect world, we'd move in somewhere before new baby gets here, but I also don't want to impulsively buy something just because we're on a time crunch, and then regret it 6 months later. Yanno? 

Worst case scenario? We move into an apartment for a few months while we wait for "our" house to come along (and I'm hoping it comes along soon, since the vast majority of new listings go up in the spring). 

I probably should be more panicky about this, and maybe I will be, but honestly I feel so relieved. This was one thing I couldn't control. You can choose your house, you can choose your own timeline to buy a house, but you can't force someone to buy your house. And luckily, there was no force involved. Just a wonderful couple who needed to buy a home quickly and ours was their favorite :) I plan on buying them a fancy bottle of wine to leave on the counter for when they move in, as a small THANK YOU for changing our lives.

So funny/crazy story about this. 3 weeks ago, I followed the advice of a co-worker and ordered the St. Joseph statue off Amazon (for the bargain price of $6.97 mind you). Burying this statue upside down in your backyard plus having a little bit of faith is supposed to give you good luck in selling your house.

When it arrived, I waited until Emerson went to bed to go bury it. Well, it was dark and cold, and the ground was frozen. So essentially I just shoved it into the ground, but I couldn't get it to go all the way in. Oh well, I thought. If it works, it works. If not, not.

Well the next day I started feeling really uneasy about it. I told Jon I was going to go re-bury it. I felt like I did it wrong and it wasn't going to work. But I couldn't find it! I looked all around where I had placed it, and it was nowhere to be found. So I just figured it sank down enough to be properly buried.

On Friday afternoon, I texted Jon to go throw out an old dehumidifier from our basement and I had just remembered it was down there. We had a showing that day and I thought it was an eyesore so I wanted to get rid of it before our open house on Sunday. On his way out the back door, Jon thought about the statue and wondered if it had resurfaced after the rain we'd been having. As he looked down, he saw the feet of the statue popping up out of the ground! He wasn't there when I buried it, so he had no idea where, in our entire backyard, I had put it. So being the nice guy he is, since he knew I was paranoid about it, he unearthed the statue and gave it a proper burial and covered it with grass.

We had a showing 30 minutes later, and a signed offer later that night. 

Whether or not you believe in God, saints, or miracles, even you have to admit that's a pretty interesting coincidence....

So now we move. In 27 days. Hooray! And oh crap!