One-Uppers

Let me start this off by saying I'm in a great mood.

It's Friday. Emerson slept so good last night, and wasn't fussy at all. Hooray! Her sleep is directly correlated to my happiness.

So I'm not sure why I feel the need to write what might come across as a grumpy post, because I'm actually not grumpy today. I mean, look what I have in my kitchen:

A Sam's Club box of Keurig k-cups big enough to last at least, IDK, 2 weeks?? Hooray!

So with that disclaimer, here we go...

What is the deal with one-uppers?

Seriously. I have gotten a brief taste of the proud mom disguised as one-upping mom, and it's already annoying.

I was warned about this phenomenon. As moms, we are so proud and connected to our little ones that we think they can walk on water and do no wrong. (I mean, in Emerson's case that's true, but she's the exception). So naturally, we want to share  how amazing our babies are, because we are so happy, proud, and in love with them that we want the world to know how spectacular they are.

But where do you draw the line?? Here's where I draw it: Putting a baby or their mother down in any way because you or your own baby did something better/faster/longer/whatever. Whether intentional or not, it's freaking obnoxious.

For example: "My baby slept 7 hours in a row last night!! Yay!!!" and then this is followed by "Oh, my little Billy was sleeping 8 hours in a row weeks before your baby started."  Or how about: "Yay! She rolled over!" is followed by "Oh, she's only now starting to do that??"

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?!

I used to have a friend who was a chronic one-upper. Honestly, every single thing I said was followed by a one-up comment. It could have been something as simple as "Hey, I got a 98% of my midterm" and this person would say "Oh, well I got a 99%, but good for you sweetie."

It got to the point where I felt so much anxiety anytime I knew I would see her, and being around her was emotionally exhausting. I don't want to have to constantly talk myself up - you either like me or you don't. I had to remove this person from my life because I didn't want to be constantly compared. I am who I am, and it drove me crazy that someone made me feel like who I am wasn't good enough.

Okay, so most people will argue that one-uppers are just insecure on the inside, so they brag and make others feel small so they feel better about themselves. Yeah, I get that. But it doesn't change the fact that it's annoying. And since one of my philosophies in life is to do whatever it takes to be happy, I don't have time to be around people who make me less happy. Makes sense, right??

But holy hell, I freaking DARE you to say anything that in any way puts a negative connotation around my child. The mama bear claws will come out, and you won't like what you see.

Because the truth of the matter is.... just be happy with your own life. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is different, and every person has value that they have to offer the world. But don't find happiness at someone else's expense. It's a cheap thrill that doesn't last long, and you'll find yourself moving on to the next obnoxious one-upper comment very quickly just so you can feel better about yourself. Not effective, and not nice.

Ok. That's all.

Happy Friday, and go tell someone they look great today. Even if they don't.

2 months

Baby Girl,

Please ignore the date up there that says Mommy is a week late writing your 2 month letter. Today is actually February 14th, and mommy is not late in writing this. 

And this is the first of many times mommy will stretch the truth in order to make you happy, I'm sure. So when you get a handwritten letter from the president, and his handwriting looks shockingly similar to mom's, just go with it.

You are 2 months old. 2 months. With an s. You have multiple months under your belt - congratulations princess!

Every single day with you is a new adventure. In the past week even, you have changed so much! It's like you all of a sudden woke up and realized that there's a whole world out there for you to explore. You are so much more alert, awake, and active. And if this is even possible, you get cuter and cuter with every passing day.

You laugh now. All the time. It is the cutest sweetest sound in the whole world. It makes me laugh too because it sounds so funny. Most of the time you're laughing at the ridiculous faces mom and dad make, but you also love bright colorful things, ceiling fans, weird sounds, and getting your diaper changed. That's right, you went from hating diaper change time to absolutely loving it. Most of the time it takes 15 minutes to change your diaper now, because we love just watching you kick your legs, giggle, laugh, and smile and the sheer ridiculousness of having someone change your diaper for you. In fact, when you had a major explosion the other morning at 6am, you laughed your head off at daddy's reaction to the contents of your very, very soiled diaper. I mean, like hysterically laughing. Which made me hysterically laugh. Oh boy. Am I teaching you that poop is funny?? Uh oh.

You are sleeping so much better now too. It's rare for you to have less than a 6 hour stretch of sleep at night. The other night you gave us 8 blissful hours in a row and I think I shed a tear. Of course, this is usually followed by you waking up every hour after that just to get a cuddle or two, but thankfully I don't mind your cuddles one bit.

In other 2 month news, I went back to work last week (another excuse for being so behind with this). It was so, so, so hard to leave you. Kissing your forehead as I said goodbye to you that first morning felt like my heart was breaking. I could just hear a sad song in my head as I drove to work, missing our time together and wishing I could win the lottery so I could be with you all the time. But then I got to work and it wasn't so bad. The week flew by because I stayed so busy. Having you to come home to is the absolute best reason to go to work. I rush home just to see your happy little face. I miss you like crazy when I'm away, but I'm glad that daddy and I can provide for you and buy you all of the pretty dresses college tuition that you'll ever need. And I know you're in good hands with our friend Skye, her husband, and their two adorable little ones. She sends me pictures of you throughout the day, and seeing you happy makes me happy because I know you're doing okay without me. But don't get used to it kiddo, I like being around you too much to be away from you more than 8 hours a day.

As if this week weren't crazy enough, you got baptized this weekend. It was a lovely little ceremony. Aunt Holly & Uncle Shawn stood up front with us as your godparents. Your family was there, and everyone was so proud of how good you did.

Not to mention how.freaking.adorable you looked in your baptism dress. It engulfed you, and you looked like a precious little cupcake.

Engulfage

We had everyone over to our house for a little reception. And when we propped you up with all of your stuffed animals for a quick little picture, you did the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life and fell asleep and promptly fell over onto your stuffed bunny because you were just too tired to continue on. I almost died because I don't understand how any one little person can be so cute, but daddy has to remind me that you are our daughter, so of course every little thing you do will be the greatest thing imaginable to us.

I still spend the majority of my time staring at you. I just don't want to forget any moment I have with you, and I love memorizing your tiny features, as I know how quickly you're going to change over the next year. Well, 18 years. Well, I guess the rest of your life. Still, I will never forget how happy I am when I see you happy, now and forever. You are truly a joy in my life, and you are so loved not just by me and daddy, but by everyone who meets you.

Love,

Mom

Some things

1. Going back to work sucks. Sucks. Getting home and seeing your happy, beautiful baby is awesome. Awesome.

2. I just read that they classify "Sleeping through the night" in infants as sleeping 5+ hours or more in a row. Emerson has been sleeping 6.5 hour stretches for the past week. This is fabulous on one hand. On the other hand, those stretches are from 8:00pm to 2:30am. I'm sorry, but who wakes up at 2:30am and thinks "Weeeeeeeeee!! I feel so refreshed and energized!!!!!" Stupid parenting literature.

3. My baby girl is now 11 lbs and 10 ounces!!!! She's gained 4 lbs and 6 ounces since birth! You go girl!!! She's also 85% percentile for length. Girlfriend has some lonnnnnnnnng legs that she clearly didn't get from me. It's hilarious when we have to shove her long leggys into onesies, only to have enough space in the belly and arms to fit another baby. Methinks I have a mini basketball player in the making. I should make mental note to buy basketball hoop for the garage. Never too early to start playing sports. Although she can't even sit up on her own yet. Oh well. I digress.

3. Hearing your baby scream when she gets her 2 month vaccinations is the absolute worst sound in the entire world. Going back in the room to see that not only did she survive, but was happily cuddling with daddy and in no pain brought me to tears.

4. Speaking of tears, pretty much everything about being a mom brings you to tears. Well, when you have to get up at 5:45am everyday instead of sleeping in with your baby, everything actually will bring you to tears,  Red light? Boo hoo. No vanilla coffee creamer?? Waaaaaa. Too many blue cars on the highway?? Sniff sniff.

5. Speaking of coffee creamer, I just don't understand how people don't drink coffee. I just don't. Please tell me how you survive without it (provided you are over the age of 18). Seriously, it just makes me a better person in every way imaginable.

6. Today is Emerson's 2 month birthday. Such a big girl! But because I had to be up at 5:45am, I didn't get to take her 2 month picture, so I might have to cheat and take it tomorrow. That's okay, February is too short anyway, it'll even things out.

Oh, and Happy Valentines Day.

Angel

So we have this angel hanging in the window of Emerson's room.

And today, with the shades slightly open, the sun behind the angel cast this onto the floor under her bassinet:

A rainbow... Of course. How perfect. My angel baby and my rainbow baby, the best things in my life.

Blog Hiatus

So... I go back to work in 6 days.

Though I love having a rewarding career, and working in higher education is one heck of a good time, I am really, really sad about leaving my baby girl.

The following fears are running through my mind:


* Will she hate me for leaving her??

* Will she forget who I am??

* Will she remember that I'm her mommy??

* Will she still calm down only when I hold her, or cry when she gets home??

* Will I miss every single aspect of her life, like crawling, walking, talking?!?!?


Everything is going to be okay right??? RIGHT?!?!?!

In the meantime, here's what Miss E has been up to the last few days :)

Hanging out with daddy and duckie, her favorite friends

First time at Panera... this face says "Mom, get the mac and cheese, not the salad!"

"Oh snap, did you see that touchdown??!" ~ On Super Bowl Sunday

And my personal favorite... Emerson sitting up by herself:



God, I just love this little baby.

Alternate Reality

Today is February 2.

In another reality, Jack would have turned 1 today.

I would have had a one year old baby boy at home. We probably would have had a cute birthday party for him this weekend. Our friends and family would have been huddled in our house, watching him smash cake in his face. We would have had to open his presents for him, because his fine motor skills wouldn't have been up for the challenge quite yet. We would have gotten him some ridiculous gift like a Power Wheels car or a giant rocking horse.

But instead, today, my mom is coming down to visit. It's been so nice here this week, so we'll take Emerson to the outdoor mall and go shopping, grab lunch, and watch her giggle and squirm around.

Days like today make me miss that little guy so much. I love his baby sister, but we are not always granted the reality we desire most, which would be to have both of babies right here, right now.

Miss you angel baby.