Last night, Jon was eating some Doritos on the couch. They looked great. But I wasn't very hungry.
I left the room to go do the dishes.
When I came back, I saw that he had closed the bag, but there was one Dorito laying on the coffee table. "Why didn't you eat that Dorito??" I asked.
"Because it fell onto the carpet and I was gonna throw it away" he said.
I stared at said Dorito for a solid minute. I swear, the little bastard was enticing me. I felt sorry for it. With it's bright orange nacho cheesiness... I couldn't just leave it there. That would be abandonment.
So I ever so casually picked up the Dorito and ate it. Instantly, I tasted the very distinct taste of our shag rug as I realized I ate a piece of carpet fuzz, along with my Dorito. I coughed and coughed, drank a full glass of water, and watched as Jon looked at me with "I told you so" eyes. I brushed off my pants, stood up, and promptly left the room in embarrassment.
But hey, at least I didn't waste food.
PRIORITIES people. Priorities.