Celebration and confusion

I have a pretty big week coming up....

Sunday, May 8: Mother's Day
Monday, May 9:  Our 2-year anniversary
Tuesday, May 10: My 27th birthday

I love to cram all major events together. It's easier that way :)

As you may have seen in some previous posts, I look forward to my birthday every year. This year is no exception. The day has been planned, and I must say, it's going to be one for the books.

Before my birthday, though, we have to get through Mother's Day. This is the day that confuses me. Am I allowed to celebrate it?? Jon says yes, of course, you are a mother. And I know that. We even have a sweet little piece of paper which says I am Jack's mother, and Jon is Jack's father. That should be proof enough right?

But on Sunday, I won't have a baby here in my arms. So am I technically allowed to celebrate this holiday? Part of me feels like I haven't fully earned my mommy medal yet. I have a lot of badges, but no medal.

I think celebrating Mother's Day for me this year will mean celebrating the time that I did get to spend with Jack, and not focusing on the time that I won't have. We have a fun and exciting week coming up, and I know he wants his "mommy" to be happy. Maybe that's why all of these happy days happen to collide.. as a way to soften the sadness that might come with these tough milestones.

Because for every Mother's Day that happens from here on out, I will always be sad when thinking about my first child who is not here with us. But then I'll have a wedding anniversary, which will remind me of my wonderful marriage to an amazing husband and father. And then I'll get to celebrate my birthday, and realize how lucky I am to still be alive and healthy.

Plus, there will be birthday cake. How can I not smile when there's birthday cake involved??