Happy things

I miss Jon. A LOT. I realized through the last 28 days that I completely take for granted how much he does for us. He is very hands-on, and I should be eternally grateful for how helpful and supportive he is.

But the good news is.... HE'LL BE HOME IN 58 HOURS!!!!! Only 58 hours separates me from the love of my life. I feel like I've done nothing but bitch and whine for the last month, and so for the next 58 hours, I'm only going to talk about happy, positive things.

For instance.... Emerson's first birthday party is on Saturday. I am more excited than she is. Probably because she has no idea what's going on. But she has a BIG surprise for daddy, and I hope she's as excited to see him as I am. I just can't wait to gather together to celebrate her 12 months here. (Sob - how is she almost a one year old? Ok, sticking to happy things).

What a big girl! I've had so much fun planning little details for her party. I originally thought I wanted a Nutcracker theme, to go with a December birthday but not be focused on Christmas, but holy crap, have you ever looked at one of those things up close???

That is freaking terrifying.

So I picked a less-frightening, but still seasonally appropriate theme of "Winter Ballerina." I found tons of pictures and ideas on Pinterest for inspiration, basically pinning anything that was a combo of pink and white or looked winter-y but not Christmas-y.

Source: chinupbuttercu-p.tumblr.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: howdoesshe.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: hwtm.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: shoptomkat.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: louandjane.blogspot.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: catchmyparty.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: hostessblog.com via Audra on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Elisabeth on Pinterest

Sidenote to moms out there... Do you ever stop and think: "Holy crap, I have a child." I'm planning a birthday party for the CHILD that is mine? My child. MY baby. I have a baby. Sometimes I blink and think "Wasn't I just in middle school?" and now I have a daughter. Life is crazy/beautiful.

Pregnancy is the new black

Me.

Jessica Simpson.

And now Kate Middleton. 

Everybody is pregnant. There must be something in the air.

Sorry Suri

 

Meggings

I have never gotten into the whole "leggings" craze.

Not because I didn't want to. I think people who wear them look adorable. I always see girls wearing leggings and I think "Man, what a great look!" but have never taken the plunge. I suspected that leggings would be a trend that was a flash in the pan, and would go away by the time I purchased them, so I held off.

But in my quest to avoid frumpy maternity clothes, I finally resigned myself to purchase some maternity leggings on a whim (aka Black Friday at Old Navy). I mean, they were $10 - if I hated them, who cares??? I could wear them as PJs or something.

So I put them on this morning.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

Maternity leggings (henceforth known as "meggings") are the greatest invention of all time. With my sweater, long-sleeved shirt, and comfy boots, I feel like I'm wearing pajamas to work. I am so comfortable that I might cry. No seriously, they are THAT good. 

Yesterday I was feeling grumpy because the button on my regular pants was digging into me. Today I feel like I could do yoga, then go straight to bed.

Yes, they are THAT good. I assure you. All my pregnant friends, you must invest. Right now.

See? Look how comfortable I am. 

Oh, and don't think I missed the irony of the Tampax machine photobomb.

So What! Wednesday

I refuse to wear maternity pants. Just not ready. I feel like Renee Zellweger pre and post Bridget Jones. All of my weight gain/loss over the last 3 years due to pregnancy has to be doing a number on my innards. But at least I never looked like a creepy skeletor. 



I've eaten spaghetti for dinner almost every night that Jon has been gone. It's cheap, delicious, and easy. And carbs are this baby's friend. Mmmm, now I want some.

I can't stop looking at houses online. Even though it's torture. Even though I know none of those houses will be available by the time we're ready to buy in March. It's an obsession. There's a Realtor.com app too that fuels the fire. It beckons me daily.

Jon and I cannot agree on baby names. Jack and Emerson were our names, and they're both taken. So whether this nugget is a boy or girl, I feel like it will be impossible to pick the perfect name because we've already used them. Ya know? One thing I know for sure is that we will NOT be naming this baby Hashtag. #fileforparentalemancipationnowkid

I order absolutely everything on Amazon these days. I have Amazon Prime, which has free two-day shipping. Which means I don't have to force Emerson to shop with me when it's freezing outside. I ordered trash bags the other day, people. Trash bags.

Emerson will be getting a two-tiered birthday cake, that when all is said and done may cost more than our wedding cake. Judge away.

Speaking of, I am putting more thought and attention to detail into Emerson's first birthday party than my own wedding. But there's no wedding coordinator for baby birthday parties. Actually, I'm sure there is, but Pinterest is guiding my way, sans coordinator fees.

I still want some spaghetti

Abandonment Issues

Remember this post about trying to get Emerson to say "Mama" and totally failing???

Well, with Jon gone, we are having the total opposite problem in our house. I have an irrational justifiable fear that she is experiencing baby abandonment issues. And here's why:

When I leave the room, girlfriend goes NUTS.

If she's with her babysitter, she's fine. If I'm not there when she wakes up, she's fine. But if I have the audacity to leave her, even for a moment, she will cry and sing a chorus of "Mamamamamamamamamama" and strike a dagger into my heart. And then when I return she clings to me as if I'm going to leave her forever. Don't get me wrong, I will take any baby cuddle any time, but it's still heartbreaking. She has never been a clingy baby, just happy and snuggly, and I really think Jon's absence is affecting her.

In fact, this morning I heard her stirring and went upstairs to get her. Normally she's content to play in her crib til kingdom come/until I pick her up, but today she wakes up, stands up, and immediately starts whimpering "Mamamamamamama" Tears. "Mamamamamamamama." I pick her up. She lays her head on my chest as the whimpers quiet down.

Ugh, it kills me.

Jon will be home next Friday, and it can't come soon enough. The FaceTime thing is just not cutting it. I write about this here because I don't want to tell him (and Lord knows he doesn't read my blog - good thing, he'd probably be mortified), because I know he'd feel bad.

So, because it's what I do, I'll go ahead and look on the sunny side.... at least she's saying mama???