5 Months

Hi sweet girl!!!

Somebody send out an APB, because there is a little munchkin in my house that has kidnapped my baby and replaced her with this big girl!

That's right... you are FIVE months old now! My teeny tiny little baby is now a grown-up. Okay, that might be extreme, but still.... I am amazed by how much you've grown!!!

Yes, that is you practicing your favorite skill, sitting up. You sit up all the time now, and though I'm not ready to leave you attended while sitting, you are SO good at it! You love to sit on your blanket in the living room and play with the mountain of toys at your disposal.

Oh yeah, that is definitely what you think it is - the longest string of drool in the history of the world.

Your other favorite skill??? Grabbing your feet! You do it all the time, but especially when we're changing your diaper or when you're laying in your crib. In fact, you wake up every morning cooing and talking to your feet. It is the cutest thing ever. I love coming into your room to get you, and you get a HUGE smile on your face because mommy has decided to come to the party, and then you go right back to grabbing your tiny feet. But I get it... those tiny baby toes are pretty stinking cute.

Speaking of waking up.... knock on the biggest freaking fat piece of wood, you are officially sleeping through the night. As in, we put you in your crib at 7:00pm, and you're asleep until 7:00am. It is amazing. To accomplish this task, 95% of the work was done by you. You were given a challenge, and you breezed through it with flying colors. The other 5% we owe to a book called The SleepEasy Solution (review coming next week). This book has changed our lives, and everyone in our household is sleeping better, which in turn is making our home a happy and smiley one.

As you grow you are looking more and more like "yourself." Meaning, you're not an indistinguishable newborn anymore. You have a unique look and, okay I know I am extremely biased, but seriously.... you are SO BEAUTIFUL. It's almost heartbreaking how beautiful you are, because then I worry about scary boys with ulterior motives who might some day break your heart. Your eyes are my favorite... a beautiful blue and little light brown in the middle. I just want to stare at you all day long because your smile just makes me so happy.

 

For as long as I can remember, your grandma Barb has been telling me that I was beautiful. I never doubted that my mom thought I was beautiful, because she told me so much. Most of the time I just rolled my eyes at her or said something like "Ohhhh, mo-om, stop it!" But now, I get it. (Yep, Grandma Barb- I get it now!) She wasn't saying those things to embarrass me... she truly believed that. Even in middle school when I could not have been more ugly or awkward looking. To a mother, you will be hard-pressed to find her another child that is more beautiful or perfect than her own. 

Here's an example: Back in 2012 (assuming you are reading this some time in the future), two famous celebrities were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They are both said to be some of the most beautiful people in the world. Well they had a baby named Shiloh (and like 5 more babies, but this was their first biological one). Subsequently, Shiloh was predicted to be the most beautiful baby on Earth. I Googled her image, did a quick comparison, and determined that yes, in fact, you are more beautiful than the most beautiful baby on earth. 

Shiloh, 2007

Emerson, 2012

Yep, she's got nothing on you. (And the proceeding was soooo much biased mom-bragging, so feel free to ignore if it makes you cringe)

I am also loving how determined you are to learn new things. Every single week you have a new trick. You grab every single thing in your way, and it immediately goes into your mouth. Nom nom nom, washcloth, remote, hairbrush, nom nom nom. Thank God I'm not a germaphobe or I would be freaking out!

Vegetable oil, I will OWN YOU!

You amaze me every single day. All I ever want to do is be around you, because you are so fun and so sweet. We've got a big summer ahead of us, I can't wait to experience all of the firsts that are coming up - solid food, swim lessons, two flower girl stints, the beach! Here we go!!!

I love you princess...every day is better now that you're in our world.

Love,

Mom

New look, same bad puns

Are your eyes playing tricks on you????

Do things look a little different from where you're sitting???

Don't worry friend, you're not alone...My blog got a fancy new makeover!!!

When I first started blogging, I used it as an outlet for my grief. It was a way to process how I was feeling after losing Jack, and it truly helped me along my journey toward healing.

Then when I became pregnant with Emerson, I used it as a diary to document all of the little things I wanted to remember about my pregnancy. I was so scared, but I didn't want to treat the experience like it wasn't special, just because I had already been pregnant the year before.

And now, I use it as a both an outlet AND a diary. An outlet to share my fears, hopes, and annoyances, but mostly a diary of my everyday life as a wife and mother.

A long time ago, someone told me that I should take all of the posts in my blog and turn them into a book. As a way to help other grieving mothers, as well as other moms who were pregnant with their rainbow babies. But what this blog has evolved into is a snapshot into my life and feelings at any given point.

What is most important to me, though, is that some day my darling girl can look back on all of these posts and learn a little bit more about her mom and who she was at this time in her life. As morbid as this sounds, if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I'd want Emerson to have some insight into her mother's personality (as kooky as it might be).

So instead of a book, I decided to turn this blog into a digital scrapbook of sorts. A 21st century diary, complete with photos, ad libs, and puns. And since I won't be able to remember every single little detail of Emerson's childhood, I am committed to keeping it as up to date as possible.

Hope you like it! A big thanks to Jenn for helping me look fancy!!

Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day with my beautiful rainbow baby. It was low-key, and it was perfect.

It was hard to get through the weekend without a tugging ache in my heart though, because I couldn't stop thinking about my dear friend. She should be holding her brand new baby today. But she isn't.

I gave myself 5 minutes alone in the bathroom to shed some tears for Jack, and then I went into Emerson's room while she slept and held her so close. Her sweet angelic face, her perfect features, her tiny hands remind me of how blessed I am, and how blessed she is to have a guardian angel and big brother looking out for her always.

Life is so precious, and motherhood is the greatest gift I've ever been given. I know the consuming heartbreak my friend felt as her due date passed. I hope she knows that she is an amazing mother. I also hope that everyone who is a mom stopped to take a second yesterday to realize how lucky they are.
Because even with the crying, the sleepless nights, the stupid teenage fights, the bad decisions, the expenses, the headaches, the annoyances ..... there is someone out there who would die to have the chance to have someone call her "Mom."

Birthday card from Emerson

I just got an email from Jon. He said Emerson typed me a birthday card all by herself! I am copying and pasting it here for your enjoyment:

                            Fffffffmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

\

\”””                        2.                       14             mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm[xmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm             

Best birthday card ever!                           

Twenty Eight

Alright confession time... who has seen My Best Friends Wedding??

You know what movie I'm talking about. Starring Julia Roberts, dude with a deep voice, and that English guy who is also the voice of the spoiled prince in Shrek.

The first time I can recall seeing this movie, I was in 7th grade. A wee baby. I remember watching this movie and being awestruck by the premise.

See, Julia and Deep voice guy briefly dated in college, then broke up, and became best friends. One night, they agreed that if they weren't married by the time they were 28, they'd marry each other.

Simple enough, right?? Haven't we all had that "back-up" friend that we said we'd marry if things didn't pan out any earlier?? I *think* I have this pact with my friend Brendan, but I guess our contract is null and void since, as you saw yesterday, I am lawfully wed.

The reason this movie is significant is that today is my 28th birthday. I am 28 years old!! Late twenties!!! Almost 30!!! How did that happen?!?! I'm the youngest child, youngest children don't turn 28!

Hahahaha. But seriously, when I was 12 and watched the movie My Best Friends Wedding, I remember thinking:

"Ok, so 28 is officially old. That's the age when if you aren't talking to someone (because that's what we called dating in middle school), you should probably just buy 50 cats and some mumus, because you've over the hill."

My, how my opinion has changed...... I know some day Emerson will have that moment of "Wow, my mom is OLD" and then I will have to school her on what old really is. And also tell her that if she waits until she's 28 to get married, daddy and I will pay for the whole thing. You've got that in writing princess!